Floobydust

75 reasons why a dog is better than a spouse

• No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & The Blowfish album.
• Dogs are easy to buy for.
• Dogs are happy with any video that you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you are together.
• Dogs don't criticize your friends.
• Dogs are nice to your relatives.
• Dogs aren't threatened by two women with short hair.
• The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
• Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
• It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
• Dogs admit when they are jealous.
• Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
• Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.
• Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
• Dogs don't correct your stories.
• No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching “adulthood”.
• Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
• Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
• Middle aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
• Dogs are color blind.
• Dogs are good with kids.
• You can train a dog.
• Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
• Dogs like your size.
• Dogs think you sing great.
• Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
• Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
• Dogs don't care whether you shave your legs.
• Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
• Dogs understand what “no” means.
• Dogs take care of their own needs.
• Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.
• Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
• A dog's parents never visit.
• A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
• Dogs don't have problems expressing affection in public.
• Dogs don't play games with you — except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).
• Dogs don't read at the table.
• Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
• Dogs look at your eyes.
• Dogs miss you when you're gone.
• You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.
• Dogs don't cry unless they have to pee.
• Dogs love it when your friends come over.
• Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
• Dogs understand that farts are funny.
• Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
• Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
• Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
• A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
• Dogs are excited by rough play.
• Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
• If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
• Dogs don't shop.
• Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
• Dogs love long car trips.
• Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
• Dogs aren't catty.
• Dogs admit it when they are lost.
• Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
• Dogs never want foot rubs.
• Dogs never expect gifts.
• Dogs can't talk.
• Dogs like beer.
• Dogs don't hate their bodies.
• Dogs never criticise.
• Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
• Dogs don't worry about germs.
• Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
• Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
• Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
• Dogs seldom outlive you.
• Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
• Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
• You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.
• Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelery.