English is crazy

• There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger.
• There is no apple nor pine in pineapple.
• English muffins weren't invented in England.
• French fries weren't invented in France
• Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
• Quicksand is slow.
• Boxing rings are square.
• A Guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
• Writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham.
• If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
• You can make amends but not one amend.
• You comb through annals of history but not a SINGLE annal.
• If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
• Teachers taught, preachers haven't praught.
• If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
• If you wrote a letter, could you have you bote your tongue?
• People recite at a play and play at a recital.
• Ship by truck and send cargo or a truck by ship.
• Noses run and feet smell.
• Park on driveways and drive on parkways.
• Lift a thumb to thumb a lift.
• Table a plan in order to plan a table.
• A slim chance and a fat chance are the same, but a wise man and wise guy are opposites.
• Overlook and oversee are opposites, but quite a lot and quite a few are the same.
• How can a person be “pretty ugly”?
• How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
• Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?
• Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?
• If the plural of mouse is mice, then why isn't the plural of house hice?
• Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
• Where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
• A house can burn up as it burns down.
• Fill in a form by filling it out.
• An alarm clock goes off by going on.
• Why is “crazy man” an insult, while to insert a comma and say “crazy, man!” is a compliment.
• When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
• A tool as an object is useful, but a person who is called a tool is useless.